I Just Know I'm Goin' To Hell For This

It is a small joy in my life that when I check out Bloglines the old IMW is right next to Iowahawk in my list. (Yes, I subscribe to my own blog...got a problem with that?) Whenever I see something new on the 'Hawk I know the fun is about to begin. (And if I'm drinking anything, I place it on a table...preferably in another room.)

Today on Iowahawk, America speaks out on all things Bristol Palin:

Andrew S., Time Magazine columnist, P-Town, MA:

"As a mainstream conservative Catholic of conscience, I am shocked and disgusted by all of the suggestions of Palin family baby-snatching and witchcraft and shape-shifting that I've been reading about in my columns. How can we really know that Bristol's new baby isn't actually the result of an incestuous prenatal affair between Trig and his probably-aborted missing twin sister during Bristol's still secret pregnancy last year? How many heads does it have? Is this new baby itself pregnant, or possible wearing a tiny rubber pregnancy suit as a distraction from other Palin family pregnancy scandals? Americans need to know the truth whether this fetal mutant is Palin's grandchild, great-great-grandchild, or double-grandcousin uncle in-law twice removed. To clear this up, we needs to see the DNA analysis and notarized photos of Bristol's hoo-hah. Well, not "me" "we". I guess I'll have to take your word for it because I personally find lady hoo-hahs disgusting. Until then, I'll be withholding judgement, and fellating my beagle, which is a great technique I discovered for dealing with conspiracy writer's block."