Wednesday, October 07, 2009

Mostly Bad Advice

U.S. News offers some bad advice to college students: 13 Ways to Make Your Professor Love You

Professors are human beings, too, with real human feelings. How your professor feels about you can influence how much time he or she is willing to put in to help you with the course, and even how good a recommendation he or she is willing to write for grad school or a job. Surprisingly enough, only 1 in 100 students thinks about this. Assuming you're one of the other 99, we offer you our baker's dozen of tips on how to ingratiate yourself to your professor:

Yes, because there is nothing we professors like better than ingratiating toadies!

1. Look interested.

Well, duh. If you are asleep or surfing the web, well, I won't think you are the greatest. But, you know what? Kids know this already. They actively decided, "Screw it."

2. Say hi to the professor when he or she enters the room.

This would bug the ever living hell out of me. Too much of this and I'd become W.C. Fields. "Get away kid, you bother me."

3. Ask a question.

As long as it isn't totally idiotic and/or shows a complete lack of engagement with the material.

4. Put in your two cents' worth.

See number 3 above.

5. Continue the conversation outside class.

Danger Will Studentson! Danger! If you are not engaged in the material, well, idiotic class comments don't get any better when they become one on one comments. Oh, under this heading US News gives this gem as well...

If you are shy, an E-mail to the professor following up on some issue raised in class can also do the trick.

AUGH!!!!!!! There is nothing I hate more than email from students! Besides, if the whole point is to "get in good" with the prof, this doesn't help do that. On an average work day I get 25-40 emails. Do you really think I'm gonna remember an email from some student whose face I couldn't pick out of a crowd?

6. Volunteer first.

This would be fine if they were seven and I wanted someone to clean my erasers. Otherwise, it's not gonna come up in my lecture class.

8. Ask the profs what they're working on.

Yes, we can be narcissistic bastards, but don't push it. This is particularly so if you aren't really interested. The average student is a bad liar and a worse actor. Don't try and fake it. That can only lead to bad things.

9. Participate in departmental activities.

This generally won't hurt you, and can help. But, as above, don't fake it.

10. Alert your professor to current events related to the class.

This is generally viewed by a prof as an attempt to avoid talking about the reading assignment for a given day. The prof might be OK with that, but that is what we feel is going on there.

11. Congratulate the professor on an achievement.

Help! Stalker!

12. Tell your prof you like the class.

While you are in the class, I don't wanna hear much about it. I'll buy a little, but not too much. If you are no longer in my class and want to talk me up, well, I'll eat that shit up with a spoon. You'll get bonus points if you are graduated.

13. Thank the professor when he or she does you a favor.

This is pretty good advice. This will also never happen.

I find it distressing that the real way to get in good with a prof is not listed. It's pretty simple actually.

DO THE DAMN READING!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's amazing how many good thing can flow from that.

4 comments:

Larry Sheldon said...

Does "Do the work." fit in here anywhere?


How about "Answer the test questions correctly"?

Rich Horton said...

Well, if they were doing the reading they would have a much easier time doing both of those things.

This piece does give off the vibe that what college is really all about waging a good PR campaign.

Unknown said...

Really? As a many times over college student, I frequently found professors annoyed when I had done the reading. Especially if they hadn't.

Rich Horton said...

Hmmm...maybe I'm still too new a professor. I might have a different perspective in ten years. (Though I hope not...I'd hate to be one of those guys just phoning it in.)