Tuesday, September 22, 2009

The Answer To Every "Green" Question: Suicide

From the font of much that is stupid and inhuman, Slate:

I'm hosting a dinner party next week, and I'll be serving both beer and wine alongside the meal. But it got me wondering: Which has the lower carbon footprint? Beer has to be kept refrigerated, which requires energy, but shipping wine in those heavy bottles can't be good for the planet, either.

The IMW answer: Neither. Suicide would be, in fact, the best decision you could make on such any "green" matter. After all, the drinking of alcohol implies many things which could result in further enlarging of the human carbon footprint (e.g. fooling around which could lead to carbon greedy progeny.) If you were actually concerned with the well being of the planet you wouldn't settle for any half measures anyway.

On the plus side for those who remain, we wouldn't miss you and your dumb questions.

1 comment:

Tully said...

Every time I hear a whiny greenie bemoaning that there are just too many people and they're ruining Mother Earth, I offer them a baggie and a rubber band so that they can do their part in saving Mother Earth while simultaneously proving their sincerity. Just place the baggie over your head, and the rubber band outsid the baggie and around your neck....

Not a single taker yet. Even though I always promise to recycle the baggie and rubber band.