Amendments? We Don't Need No Stinkin' Amendments!

The Grand Poobah's friend Patterico has some thoughts on the real state of the Bill Of Rights: Outsourcing an Idea: A Modern Bill of Rights

My favorite bit:

Amendment XIV
Section 1. All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the state wherein they reside. No state shall deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law. In other words, each person possesses the right to define one's own concept of existence, of meaning, of the universe, and of the mystery of human life; to abort any fetus before viability; to engage in acts of sodomy; and to do anything else that 5 of 9 lawyers, trained in elite law schools, agree that citizens ought to be able to do.

My own contributions would be minor:

Amendment IX: Wow, were we ever drunk when we came up with this. It's best if you just forgot it ever happened.

Amendment X: See Amendment IX. Boy, are we hung over.