"Laugh It Up Fuzzball"

I've decided not to take today seriously (obviously). Luckily I've had some help in that department, first from the good folks at Stubborn Facts (go here for the chuckle), and secondly, from Sp!ked:

The Americans portray us Brits as evil father figures because they miss their father. They revere the Queen because they miss their mother figure. They portray us on television as rude simpletons, only because they won’t acknowledge the fact that they want to become British themselves. Frasier Crane and his brother Niles speak in the most Anglicised accents. They love opera and fine wine and look down on their regular-guy father and Daphne’s football hooligan brothers. The Crane brothers are compulsive social climbers and social climbers always have an inferiority complex. Frasier and Niles are classic cases of east coast Episcopalians who are half glad that they led the revolution against the British, and then went on to be the secessionists of the South in 1865, but secretly miss dear old Britain.

America is now the most British country in the world. If we’re talking about stereotypes, the Americans are the most polite, most Christian, most prudish, Puritan people on the globe, who still insist on calling people ‘sir’ or ‘ma’am’. But their conservative disposition can sometimes be alarmingly euphemistic. For instance, where on earth is your ‘rest room’? I don’t want to go to this mysterious ‘rest room’. I don’t want ‘a rest’. I want to go to ‘the toilet’ or ‘the shitter’. To have a piss. Or a crap.

This is why I’ve always liked Americans. Whatever you say about Washington’s foreign policy, never take it out on Americans personally. They are the nicest, most courteous people in the world. I don’t really mind how they portray us Brits in films and television. It’s all fun and games. I just wish they’d realise that the real underclass of the world are the Australians.